On last night's midnight walk, I complained to my friend about the comments I've been getting (not a lot, but from more than one person) about taking "so much" vacation. I had the exact same experience last summer and the messages are the same - I'm not dedicated enough, I'm clearly not that concerned about tenure, I'm able to do this because of my rank and thus "low commitment," I'm entitled and whiny.
We had stopped right at the top of a little hill, so the dog could smell something. I kicked at the dirt along the curb.
"Academia is so.... stupid, sometimes!" (My summary).
If there was ever a job where it was easy to take extended vacation, it's academia.
"It's not like we're heart surgeons," I continued. "It's not like anyone is going to die because we took vacation."
"Actually the heart surgeons I know, in our age bracket, take their vacation..." my friend replied.
I can accept that most academics have difficulty turning work off - so do I. I can also accept that some academics do not wish to turn work off (Amen - do what makes you happy, as long as you're not harming other people!). But why do academics suck so bad at supporting other academics' attempts at work-life balance? Sure, I'm a big proponent of taking time off. I believe taking time off makes us better academics, and probably better human beings. But I'm not a jackass when people don't take time off.
Taking vacation - and spending time away from academia, with my non-academic pursuits and my non-academic friends - reminds me that I'm a human who happens to be a professor. I'm not just "a professor." At the end of the day, it's just a job. It's an important, meaningful, and rewarding job - but it's still a job.
I'm beginning to think, rather than only being cut out for this ONE job, I'm probably suited for a lot more. But that's a post for another day.
I like when I get this perspective that academia is kind of stupid. It feels sane. Because academia is kind of stupid - or rather, sometimes the drama of academia is really stupid. Look at the things we create emergencies out of. We don't even have that many deadlines (grants have hard deadlines. Some administrative tasks. I want to get my manuscripts out as quickly as possible, but I set those deadlines). No one's safety or health relies upon us. We can work wherever we want to (I work at home up to 2 days/week! I work in other cities!). We travel a lot. It is somewhat low stakes - I rarely make a mistake that can't be fixed. I have a comfy office. In fact, I have two comfy offices: One at work, and one at home.
In contrast, a lot of my friends work in fields that are completely the opposite of this. They work in fields where if they make a mistake, someone's health could be impacted. They could be given the wrong diagnosis or the wrong medication, for example. Some of my friends have to work outside in hundred degree temperatures and in the glaring sun, and they also have to work in subzero temperatures, sometimes outside. Some of my friends have no offices, but open-concept cubicles *shudder*. One of my friends has to be attached to her email 24/7 because she does freelance and never knows when a job with a tight deadline might come her way - and if she doesn't respond immediately, it will go to someone else. Some of my friends don't even have jobs right now and can't find them. Some of my friends work in jobs where they actually risk a major injury pretty often - and if they get injured it might really mess up their ability to collect a pay check in the future.
So - sometimes academia is stupid. At least, the things we get worked up about (including me) are stupid. Unfortunately, this isn't a state of mind I manage to sustain for very long. Once the semester starts and I am inundated with emails and students and requests and other people's issues, I will forget that in the grand scheme of life these aren't really big deals. Which makes me sad - and makes me feel a lot of guilt about my privilege that I forget about, constantly. But for now - I'm on vacation, and I am very aware that academia is just a little bit stupid.
Don't know iif you'll be able to access this article from outside the UK; it's a recent one from THE entitled "work less do more live better" which has occasioned a lot of discussion!
ReplyDeleteMy conclusions from talking to friends in other fields are indeed a) I am priviledged but also b) all industries are full of people, and they are all stupid in some ways. It's just a matter of finding stupids you can tolerate and people who are less dickish than most (or dickish in ways you don't mind too much)...
I completely agree with you! Hopefully our generation will finally break this academic mold and treat this like a job and take advantage of the perks it offers.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I just found your blog and am in a similar boat with you. I've also suffered/ing from depression, but by learning to take some time occasionally to work on taking care of myself without stopping the tenure clock, which is possible during TT no matter what anyone says, I've gotten a lot better over the last 4 years and actually feel pretty good about everything for about the first time ever. Best of luck to you!
Maybe you could pretend to be half-French... I've noticed that the only response to French academics taking the entire month of August completely off is that, "They're French."
ReplyDeleteIt is odd that people even know you're not working while you're on vacation. One of the benefits of academia is that, for the most part, you can work anywhere you want to.